What Came First the Chicken or the Ed
by yelekam
Summary: Ed once again goes after Rolfs Chickens. But actions have consequences, and Ed may have to learn that the hard way. Will the forces set in motion result in tragedy, and will this mean that Ed may never get to see the chicken's again? Disclaimer; I do not own Ed EDD N Eddy, that belongs to Danny Antinoucci and Cartoon Network.
1. Chapter 1

What Came First the Chicken or the Ed?

Ed once again goes after Rolfs Chickens.

Disclaimer; I do not own Ed EDD N Eddy, that belongs to Danny Antinoucci and Cartoon Network.

What Came First the Chicken or the Ed?

Rolf was standing out in his lawn farm performing his daily maintenance chores. Rolf was more at ease since it had been a while since Ed had bothered his chickens. Eddy had been coming up with labor intensive scams all week, leaving Ed little spare time. As Rolf was hoeing out the water drainage routs for the garden he stopped to notice something. It was quiet, it had been quiet for a while; the Ed-boy construction sounds had stopped early. Rolf cautiously waited for a while and then got back to work. A minute later he begins to here faint sounds. He stops a couple of times to listen, but nothing happens. In a few minutes it falls silent again and Rolf returns to his work. Just as Rolf lowers his guards the sound arrives. "Ch-ch-ch-ch-Chickens!" Ed Shouts.

Ed leaps over the fence and runs toward the chickens. Most of the chickens get away but Ed grabs one of them. Ed runs toward the fence on the other side and smashes through it; leaving a hole shaped like his body. "Not again!" Rolf shouts in a mixture of irritation, frustration, and minute anger. "Victor!" Rolf shouts and continues, "Ed-boy you shall not get away again!". Ed runs through a series of yards; smashing through a series of fences and leaving other destructive debris in his wake; Rolf and Victor in hot pursuit about 20 feet behind them. As the chase continues Ed turns and runs down the lane into the Cul-de-sac.

In the Cul-de-sac the kids are going about their days. Jimmy and Sarah are having a tea party with stuffed animals, Johnny and Plank were clam diving in the sewer, Nazz was standing near Kevin as he showed of the latest modifications to his bike, and Eddy and Double D were playing Edopoly: Eddy's version of Monopoly that the Eds has made earlier in the morning as the next million dollar board game. The Eds got sidetracked playing the game before they finished mass-producing it. Ed got eliminated quickly, giving Ed free time while the other two played. The game had gone into long stalemate with neither decisively finishing the other, but with Double D having a slight lead.

"More Tea " Jimmy said before Ed rushed through the tiny table, sending Jimmy and Sarah spinning, and leaving Sarah with her head stuck in a stuffed animal and Jimmy's head stuck in a teapot. Sarah tore off the stuffed animal and shouted "Ed!" in her loud angry voice. "Sarah" Jimmy said from inside the teapot. "Jimmy" Sarah said in a concerned manner as she tried to remove the teapot from his head.

"Wow Plank we sure got a big ketch" Johnny said as he was climbing out of the man hole. Ed ran through them, sending clams flying and leaving the man hole shut, with Johnny above land and plank in the sewer. "Hang on plank I'm coming for you!" Johnny said as he lifted the manhole cover and jumped in.

"Yah, with these new tires my bike will encounter 20% less friction, allowing my bike to go faster and have the tires last longer" Kevin Said. "Cool Kevin" Nazz said in a less than interested manner. Ed rushed by them shaking Kevin's balance on the bike, but he was able to stabilize himself. "Hay watch where you're going dork!" Kevin shouted. Just as he finished the last word Rolf ran by him and Victor ran straight into Kevin's bike, smashing it. "My Bike. You dorking goat!" Kevin shouted. Kevin quickly tackled the goat and began fighting it.

"Eddy, don't you think we should get back to the production" Double D said. "Yah right Sock-head, you're just scared of losing" Eddy said. Eddy rolls six and moves his little Eddy figurine player. "Cul-de-sac sewers, that will be a rent of 100 Eddy" Double D says. "Yah-Yah" Eddy says and then grumbles something under his breath as he hands over the money. Before he can hand it over Ed rushes through and scatters the board game. "Ed!" Double D shouts in as polite a manner as possible, "well Eddy I guess we'll either have to either call it a tie or start over". "we can start over" Eddy responds" Eddy quietly snickers as he stuffs game money into his pocket. Double D turns to see him and glares at him. "what, I'm just picking things up" Eddy defensively responds.

Ed continues to run beyond the Cul-de-sac. He laughs the simple and unassuming manner he always does as he runs through a series of yards and fences; Rolf rapidly chasing after him. He nears closer to brick buildings of Market Street. As he sees the approaching brick blockade he the few neurons in his brain start working. Ding, A piece of Buttered Toast glowing like a light bulb appears over his head. He stops just before running into the wall and eats it. Rolf is too late in noticing Ed stop and cannot stop himself. He smashes into the wall and falls back onto the ground. "Eehhhhhd Boouuuyyyy" Rolf said as he fell into unconsciousness. "Hiya Rolf" Ed said, oblivious to the fact of what just happened"

About ten minutes later Eddy and Double D arrive. They could tell from the Rolf-shaped indent in the brick wall what had happened. "Ha, not so tuff now, Mr. Harry Chest Urban Loser" Eddy said. "Eddy" Double D said to Eddy. "Ed, look at what you've done" Double D said to Ed. I was just trying to play with the chicken, Double D" Ed responded. "Well Ed you need to be discriminate in dealing with desires. You need to be consider your methods and consider the merits of the thing. Just because something is pleasant doesn't mean you should have it. If you don't practice some self-control you will become a slave to your desires and end up doing things that harm yourself and others. Just look at what happened to Rolf." Double D said before remembering who he was talking to and saying "you have no idea what I'm saying do you". "Nope", Ed responded. "Why do I even try?" Double D said. "Becouse Someone needs to try to teach him, or at least keep him in control enough that we can make money" Eddy responded. "You've got a point Eddy" Double D responded. "Your right I do, that why I'm in charge" Eddy said, "Now let's wake Rolf up before he gets a compression". "Concussion" Double D corrected. "Same diff, just get him up" Eddy responded.

By the time Rolf woke up he was in a bed in Double D's house with the three Ed's around him. "Ed boys" Rolf said in a confused voice before suddenly remembering what happened, "Ed Boys!".


	2. Chapter 2

What Came First the Chicken or the Ed?

Ed once again goes after Rolfs Chickens. But actions have consequences, and Ed may have to learn that the hard way. Will the forces set in motion result in tragedy, and will this mean that Ed may never get to see the chickens again?

Disclaimer; I do not own Ed EDD N Eddy, that belongs to Danny Antinoucci and Cartoon Network.

Electric Fences

Having woken up and realizing what was going on, he proceeded to give the Eds a piece of his mind.

"ED-BOY You HARRASS MY CHICKENS LIKE A VIKING FOX, TO NO END!"

"But Rolf, I love chickens" Ed responded, "I didn't mean no harm"

Rolf tried to get up and lunge at ED, but Double D had anticipated this and had tied him to the nursing bed he set up in his living room, so he couldn't get up.

"YOU HAVE BROKEN THE VENERY STOCK ON THE BACK OF A SEA URCHEN…!" Rolf said as he proceeded to yell a series of things; most of which were sayings that only someone familiar with his native culture would get, and some of it was even said in his native language.

"Now Rolf, Please calm, down we can talk this out civilly and try to find a reasonable solution" Double D said, as he calmly approached closer to the bed. He turned and said, "Eddy, please take Ed outside, so I can try to calm Rolf down."

Eddy and Ed went out to stand on an area of sidewalk near Double D's House. Even though Rolfs yelling became quieter, it was not time to come in yet. The waiting felt like an eternity to the two impatient boys.

"This is your fault you know", Eddy said to Ed, "if it wasn't for your obsession with chickens, we wouldn't have to waste time standing out here, and we could be making big bucks". "I'm sorry Eddy Ed responded.

"Oh, Ed" they heard as they noticed Sarah walking toward them, with a tea pot in her hand, and Jimmy following closely behind her.

"What do you want Sarah" Eddy said in an unfriendly tone.

"Out of my way, blockhead" Sarah angry stated.

"I'm not going anywhere, so you can just…" Eddy said, before Sarah growled, before putting the tea pot on his head, kicking him off to the side.

"oh, Ed" Sarah stated as she turned toward him.

"oh, no" Ed began to run away. But he didn't get more than a few feet before Sarah tackled him and began mauling him like an angry cat.

By the time Eddy had gotten tea pot off of his head, Ed was lying on the ground, all scratched up, and Sarah and Jimmy were walking off. As he got back to where Ed was, they were approached by Johnny and Plank. "What do you what?" Eddy said in an annoyed tone.

"Plank was nearly lost in the sewer, look at how unhappy Plank is" Johnny said as he held up a filth covered Plank"

"How can you tell?" Eddy responded

"What's that Plank", Johnny said holding Plank to his ear, "you wanna show them what we caught? Ok". Johnny, with a devious smile on his face pulls out an octopus, and throws it on Eddy. As Eddy roles on the ground trying to fight of the octopus, Johnny pulls out a bucket of eels and pours them down Ed's pants; causing him to get the bloated fish look his allergy gives him. Ed falls over onto the octopus, allowing Eddy to get away from it.

"Aaaaa Fish face" Eddy exclaimed as he saw Ed.

"Uh Eddy, could you get my allergy medicine?" Ed asked as the octopus was wrapping his tentacles around him.

"On it" Eddy responded as he began running towards Ed's house. As he runs he dodges a bike wheel flying through the air. "What the" Eddy exclaimed. He turned to see, on the other side of the Cul-de-sac, Nazz bandaging an injured Kevin, and Victor prancing about nearby, as Kevin's bike lie shattered in pieces on the ground. He thought to himself, "oh well I'll figure out about that later", and returned to running to Ed's house.

Across to where Nazz and Kevin are at;

Kevin sits down as Nazz wraps his arm in a bandage.

"Hold still Kevin" Nazz says while Kevin does not pay attention and grumbles to himself. "Kevin!" Nazz states; this time getting his attention. Turning to a kinder voice she resumes. "Hold still Kevin so I can get you bandaged up"

"yah, whatever" Kevin responded; now making sure to hold his arm still. "stupid goat" Kevin says to himself.

"you know Kevin, Victor is a big animal, there's no shame in getting beat by him" Nazz said

"That goat got lucky" Kevin stated "he only won cause he caught me off guard and used dirty tactics, but even then, if hadn't knocked me off my bike the way he did or if he had got a better grip when I first tackled on him he would have been toast. He got lucky"

"yah he got lucky when he beat you" Nazz said and more quietly added "in six fights in a row"

"Hay, after he injured me in the first round, he had an advantage. If I had injured him in the first round, do you think that wimp dorky goat would have tried again? Don't think so." Kevin said, "but that does not matter anymore, wo won or not"

"good" Nazz states in a more positive mood, that was soon replaced with a more unhappy mod by what Kevin said next"

"that dork ruined my bike and he's not gonna get away with it" Kevin stated, "that goat is gonna pay"

He shot an angry look at the goat, and after Nazz finished bandaging him, he got up, turned and walked away. As he was walking away victor looked at him mischievously, and proceeded to then charge at him and send him flying into the air. "Dork!..." Kevin shouted before landing in a tree.

"Hang on Kevin, I'll get a ladder" Nazz shouted before running off.

Eddy spotted Kevin in the tree as he rushed back from Ed's house, and laughed inside his head at Kevin's misfortune, wishing he could stop to actually do it in his face. Eddy got back to Ed, who had already beaten the octopus and scared the eels back into the sewer. "Okay Lumpy I got your medicine, now use it so I don't got look at your fish face no more".

"Roger Wilko Eddy" Ed responded. Ed took his allergy medicine and was back to normal standing next to Eddy by Double D's house as Edd stepped out.

"Well gentleman I think we've come to a solution" Edd said

"What took you so long, we've been attacked by half the neighborhood while you were chatting with Rolf" Eddy responded.

"My apologies you two. But at least now I have worked out a possible solution with Rolf that will keep him from exacting revenge" Edd stated.

"Well at least we're getting somewhere" Eddy stated.

"But I will need your help in setting up something, and Ed will need to be occupied" Edd stated.

"Ok. Ed go make one of your freezer experiments, Double D and I have something to do" Eddy stated.

"oh goody-goody" Ed said as he raced of and Eddy and Double D walked off in another direction.

Scene transition to later in the day

Ed was back to where he was standing before, holding a being of sown together meat and freezer materials that looked like an alligator.

He approached by Eddy, Double D, and Rolf.

"Now Rolf, once we place this device on Ed we can demonstrate the effectiveness of the new system" Edd said.

"This better work head in sock Ed-boy. Or else Rolf will have you thrown in a pit of pickled cabbage and have Wilfred devour all your breakfast turnips" Rolf responded.

"And we wouldn't want that" Edd responded; not exactly understanding what exactly he meant.

"Hiya Rolf, are you still mad at me" Ed said.

"Yes" Rolf said, resisting the urge to yell at him.

"Come on Ed lets go" Eddy said as he grabbed Ed's jacket sleeve and pulled him along.

They arrived near Rolf's house.

"Now Ed let me put this on you please" Edd said

"Ok Double D" Ed said.

Edd then put the collar like device around his neck and pulled a controller from his pocket; using it to activate some metal box linked to a series of metal pipes forming a fence like frame around Rolf's house and yard.

"Now Ed I would like you to walk toward the chicken coop" Edd said.

"Chickens" Ed said as he rushed toward the chickens, only to be stopped by being shocked. "Ouch" Ed said.

"You see gentlemen, this system is a failsafe to aid in efforts to keep Ed under control. In case he caves to impulses, the collar will give him a slight shock to prevent him from reaching the chickens" Edd stated.

"Kinda like the collar my uncle has on his dog" Eddy said.

"Admittedly it is somewhat similar. But this only a temporary measure until we can help Ed gain the skills needed to have the self-control to contain himself. I wish it didn't have to come to this" Edd stated.

"Good, now if we're done here, I'm going home" Eddy stated.

"Chickens…zap….Ouch" Ed continued to try to rush at chickens.

"But Eddy" Edd stated

"he'll get tired of it in a while" Eddy responded.

"You're probably right, he shouldn't take long to get the correlation" Edd responded.

Eddy, Double D, ad Rolf went home, and Eddy kept trying to get past the shock line without figure out how to, until Sarah showed up to drag him home for bedtime.


End file.
